Well, Fuck
by Crowleyskitten
Summary: a Spiderman x self harm reader fic. DONT READ IF EASILY TRIGGERED.
1. Chapter 1

div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I give up. I can't do this anymore. Screw this." I whisper to myself, making another deep slash on my thigh, watching the blood pool and drip down my leg before I wipe it off with a towel. I don't even feel the pain anymore. It feels muted, like everything else in my life. /span/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"Being Tony Stark's daughter was horrible. Especially since I wasn't nearly as smart as him or skinny and beautiful like his fiancé, Pepper. I was fat, ugly, stupid, broken, and scarred. I know that not even my soulmate would want me, when ever I meet them. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"I looked down at the timer on my wrist. 27:03:38. 27 more hours until I met them. /span/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"I continued to cut, not paying attention to the towel now saturated in my blood. I looked down at my work, sickly proud of it as it's nothing less than I deserve. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"It's pathetic really, how your mind can turn on you so quickly and leave you doing anything to take the pain away. At least, that's how it is for me. I started to feel dizzy, and tried to stand up to wash the remaining blood off my leg, but I fall down, hitting my head on the side of the bathtub. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"Then, Darkness. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"—/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"They say you meet your soulmate when the timer on your wrist reaches zero./div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"I used to dream about my soulmate. What they were like, how we'd grow old together, a true happily ever after. /span/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"What a fool I was. /span/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"—-/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"I awake to the sound of a heart monitor and I realise where I am. The medical wing of Avengers tower. Shit. /span/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"I open my eyes, and it hits me, the timer! Frantically, I look down at it, and read what it says. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"00:03:27/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"3 minutes! I've been out for over 27 hours?! Shit, shit, shit! I think back to the last thing I was doing, and freeze. I must have lost too much blood. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"I hear voices coming from down the hallway, my father's and a unknown male voice. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"00:00:30/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"Fuck! My soulmate must be the other voice. This is emnot/em how I wanted to meet them. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"As the voices get closer, I can make out what they are saying. "Look Peter, I'll talk to you later!" My dad's frustrated voice exclaims. "My daughter is in there after trying to kill herself! I have more important things to do than work on your suit right now!"/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;""I'm so sorry, mr. Stark. Yeah, I'll just, um, go then." Peter says in embarrassment. I can see them through the sliding glass doors but I can't see Peter's face. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"00:00:01/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"He looks up, glancing at me, and our eyes lock. He gasps at the same time I do, both of us grabbing our wrists with the timers on them as the numbers fade completely. /div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"00:00:00/div  
div class="UH8R2" style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; margin-top: 16px;"Well, fuck. /div 


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my god what was that?!" My dad yelled in shock, seeing what happened. Peter continued to stare at me in shock and what I assume is horror. Horror at me being his soulmate probably, I think to myself.

Tony runs into the room, Peter right behind him. "You two...you're soulmates?!" He exclaimed.

I flinch and look down at my hands. This couldn't have gone worse.

"...wait, my soulmate tried to kill herself?!" Peter finally speaks. Again I flinch harshly, wanting to run from the room and cry or go cut but I can't cuz I'm stuck in this damn hospital bed!

Fuck.

"Peter! Leave!" My dad barks at him, and Peter practically scrambles to escape the room.

"...oh my god, of course you two are soulmates!" Dad snarks. Frowning, he looks at me. "Wanna explain what the hell you were doing when I found you unconscious in your bathroom?"

"...I ...I was..." I stutter, terrified and embarrassed.

"No, don't bother. I found you covered in blood! Do you know how terrifying that is?"

Before I can think about what I'm saying it comes out of my mouth. "Do you know how terrifying it is to want to die constantly?" I immediately slap my hand over my mouth in horror.

...fuck!

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Tony yells.

"Tell you? You're too busy to care! Ever since my mum dropped me off here, you've spent maybe 20 minutes a week with me! you're never there!" I can't stop. It all comes pouring out from me, everything I've kept hidden. "I hate myself! I hate how I'm an idiot compared to you. How I'm fat and ugly and broken and scarred! Not even my soulmate wants me! I want to die! It would be better if I just died..." I yell, finally breaking down.

Tony stares in shock.

"No it wouldn't! You are loved! People would miss you. I would miss you!" Another voice exclaims from the doorway. Peter.

Dad turns to Peter, angry at the interruption.

"Didn't I tell you to leave?"

"You would miss me? You never met me until now! And I keep waiting for someone to figure that out, and they don't! I mean.. of course they don't, cause as long as I say the right thing and act the right way, you're happy!" I practically screamed."And you, you aren't ever there! For half my time here I thought you hated me, but I found out that since I'm not a mega genius or a superhero that I'm simply not important!" I turn back to Tony to yell.

Silence except for my cries and I sob into my hands.


End file.
